Home Birth

Home Birth:
Recently Joel and I have been looking into home births. We want to make an educated decision on whats best for us and our baby by comparing the benefits of home birth versus hospital birth. We're going to be doing some serious research by talking to friends who have experienced both, meeting with midwives, and talking to our current OB. I thought I should share our discoveries since this seems to be such a controversial topic and I want our friends and family to understand where we are coming from.

Joel and I obviously have no experience with any sort of birth. For some reason I have an overwhelming sense of peace about having a home birth. I cant explain that peace, it just appeared in me the moment I started researching it. Joel is still a little apprehensive about it.

How It All Started:
When we first found out we were pregnant we were so excited, but this excitement was quickly followed by a bit of disappointment when our insurance told us we had to have the baby on base, no exceptions. Military insurance can be a beautiful thing because it's basically free to us, but it can also be extremely frustrating because, well, you get what you pay for. Because we don't pay for it, we have no control over who our doctor is or what treatment we receive. When most women get pregnant they have the opportunity to interview different OB's, talk about birth plans, and get a sense of whether or not it's a good match. This person is bringing your child into this world, so it's going to be an important relationship. Most women also get a chance to look at different facility's and see which place would be the most comfortable for them, after all, you will most likely be spending over 24 hours there if it's your first! Well, because of our insurance we would not have any of these choices. We would be designated an OB for each appointment, and when we go into labor, whoever happens to be on call will deliver the baby. Basically there would be a complete stranger delivering our child. Not exactly what I dreamed of.

 So, you can imagine that when I found out our insurance covers home birth, I was immediately interested. This would mean that we wouldn't have to have a soldier deliver our baby. We could actually have some control over the situation. We could interview different midwives, talk about birth plans, and then PICK the best one for us. On top of that, I love the idea of being in the comfort of my own home during the anticipated 24 hour labor. Being a yoga instructor, I have learned how to calm my mind and body using different breathing techniques and poses. I would like to incorporate this into my labor, but I would need to be in a peaceful, comfortable environment to do so.

Our Research So Far:
Of course I am also looking into the risks of home birth vs. hospital birth. Here are some of the statistics I've found so far. These are per 1,000 births: 
                                                       HOME    HOSPITAL
Use of Forceps                                  .9%           19.6%
Manually remove Placenta              1.4%           1.4%
Episiotomy                                       9.8%          87.4%
Emergency C-Section                        3%            30%
Birth Injuries                                      0%             3%
Infant Breathing Problems                3.3%          9.3%
Induction                                            2.1%          21%

So far I am really impressed with the statistics and stories I have heard on home births. We still have a long way to go in our research and prayer on the matter. Next week we have an appointment with a home birthing company, I'm meeting one on one with a mother who has had 2 home births, and we have a coffee date set up with 5 or 6 couples who chose home birth and are willing to share their stories. I have so many questions and concerns, so I can't wait to start picking their brains!

Our Concerns and Questions:
Below is a list of questions we intend to discuss with our friends who have been through the process and with the midwives we interview. 

How many births have you attended? Of those, how many needed emergency intervention?
What is your hospital transfer rate?
What is your plan of action in the case of a hospital transfer?
What happens to the fees if I need a hospital transfer?
Have you ever lost a mother or child?
Have you ever had any bad outcomes? Please explain.
What is your role in the birthing process?
How many visits are included in your fee?
Do I need to take a la maz or birthing class or do you coach those things during labor?
Are ultrasounds included in your fees?
Will you be monitoring the baby's heart rate the whole time?
What will you do if the cord is wrapped around the baby's neck?
What will you do if the baby is breech?
What if I have excessive bleeding?
What do you do to prevent tearing?
What if I need an episiotomy? Do you do stitches? Will you use local anesthetic? 
Do you do inductions? How far overdue do you allow a mother to go?
What pharmaceuticals/homeopathics/herbs do you use during a birth?
What equipment will you bring with you? Will you have a birthing pool/stool/ball available for me?
What will you do if I start screaming for an epidural or tell you to bring me to the hospital?
Will you give my baby a full check-up and blood screening right away?
What sort of postnatal check-ups are included for me and my baby?
Will you help me with breastfeeding/latching techniques?

I will continue to share our story and discoveries with you all. I only ask that you, our friends and family, would respect our decisions and trust that we are seeking the Lord throughout this entire process. We do not pass any sort of judgment on our friends and family who have had their children in hospitals, and we only ask that you wouldn't pass judgment on us for exploring other options.

A Big Baby Having a Baby

I have a confession. I'm pretty much no good at this pregnancy stuff. I know I'm supposed to be all, "Oh it's so wonderful, an amazing experience"... and it IS amazing, the fact that there's a little person growing inside me. It's amazing... but do you know what else is amazing? The symptoms. I feel I have been misled by all the "Oh it's so wonderful" people. Why didn't you tell me pregnancy is like a giant hangover? Like a Drank-a-whole-bottle-of-whiskey-slept-on-the-bathroom-floor kind of hangover. Since no one told me about the reality of being pregnant, I feel it is now my duty to document the naked truth.

Speaking of naked, as of 6 weeks none of my pants or bras fit me anymore. Not because I had a little baby bump or anything like that. No, it was simply because constipation, bloating, and gas had taken over my body like white trash at Wal-Mart. I'm not talking about the kind of thing that goes away after you eat a salad either. No, I'm talking Santa Claus on a beer binge. Hard as a rock, dead possum kind of bloating. It is amazing.

Nausea. You know that feeling after a long night out drinking? You wake up in the morning and you're not sure if you're starving or if you never want to eat again. So, you eat something really bad for you because that's what you thought you were craving, and it turns out you weren't starving, you were just nauseous. Should've opted for the never eating again. Well, when you're pregnant this is what happens every two hours, and for some reason you always opt for the eating, and for some reason it always makes you feel worse. Amazing.

Water!!! I have never drank so much water in my life. Not that this is such big a problem, except that I'm already peeing more often than a geriatric mother of 12.  Turns out that Itty Bitty Baby is playing soccer with my bladder because, seriously, it's every 15 minutes. It's rather amazing. 

Headaches. Why? What is the purpose of this pounding? It's every afternoon, like clockwork!

Sleeping. It doesn't really happen anymore. Maybe in short clips in between tossing, turning, I'm nauseous, I'm peeing, I need a drink, and oh, what do ya know my head is pounding again! Amazing.

Backaches. Why, oh why, would my back be hurting already? I thought the backaches were from actually carrying around the weight of a full grown child in your stomach? So why, if my baby is now the size of  a green olive, am I walking like I'm 3 weeks over due?

Fatigue. This couch has never seen so much action, and I'm not talking about the kind that benefits Joel. I have never been much of a tv person, and barely ever took naps either. I was always busy with a project, homework, shopping, exercising, or reading. Those are all things I watch people do on tv now. I mean, I want to get up, but it's like there's an invisible force turning me into something that resembles Al Bundy. I'm amazed.

I know this isn't your typical mushy pregnancy blog. Maybe after the first trimester the mushy mommy in me will emerge? Let's hope so! Until then, you can count on these somewhat grumpy, overly sarcastic, and disturbingly honest blogs about the crap you have to go through to become a parent. It's not easy being pregnant, and from what I hear it's not easy being a parent either. But I do know it will all be worth it in the end. It will be amazing, right?

A Letter to Itty Bitty

Dear itty bitty baby in my belly,
      I can't stop thinking about you. You are the last thing I think of as I drift off to sleep, and the first thing I think of when I wake up. I dream about you at night, and I daydream about you during the day. I pretend to listen when people are talking, only I'm not listening because I'm thinking about you. I pretend to read a book, and occasionally even turn a page, but I don't know what I'm reading because my mind is wandering... I'm thinking about you.
     I think all sorts of things, like what color will your hair be? Will I know what to do when you cry? Will you like me? Will you roll your eyes at my jokes? Will you think my clothes are out of style? Are you gonna give me stretch marks? It's ok if you do, but then you at least better be nice to me when you get older. I hope you have Joel's sense of humor, but certainly not his temper. I hope we raise you with just the right amount of spankings. Not so much that you'll hate us, but not so few that you're spoiled. We're definitely gonna spank you though, just so you know. I got spanked a lot when I was a kid, and I still like my Mom. If fact, my Mom is my best friend. She's the greatest lady I've ever met. We might even name you after her, if you're a girl. Are you a girl? Do you want to be a ballerina? Because I completely support you being a ballerina... but soccer's fine too. Or are you a boy? We'll name you after Joel's Grandpa- 'a strong manly name' is what Joel calls it. If you are a boy, then I hope you like wrestling because the Smith boys do a lot of that. Joel will show you how. I'm a really good baker, just so you know. I'm gonna bake you a lot of cookies. I pray for you every day. I pray that you'll be healthy and strong and smart and that you'll love Jesus.
     I have lots more to tell you, but I'll save some for later. I don't want you to think I talk too much. 

Love,
  Your Mommy

    



   

Initiate Panic.

Saturday, June 11. One pregnancy test left. I'd already taken 10 that week. All negative. It was 4:30 in the morning and I was wide awake. I decided the night before that perhaps the suggestion on the box to use your first morning urine was more than just a suggestion. I was trying to play it cool and wait until 5am to get out of bed and take the test, but I had no cool left in me. Moments later I'm standing in my underwear, leaning against the bathroom counter, the test just inches from my face. Normally I would walk out of the room for the 3 minutes, but that's how I handled the 10 previous tests. This time I decided to stare that little stick down and summon the two lines out of it.

10 seconds... 20 seconds... 30 seconds... wait, is that another line or have I been staring so hard that I've gone crossed eyed? Look away, look back, lines are still there, look at the directions, "two lines = pregnant", moment of panic, run to the closet, put on pants, run out the door, WAL-MART, buy another pregnancy test, wait 10 minutes while cashier finds key to unlock plastic case the test is in, why is it in a plastic case, I'm embarrassed, hurry up, mind is racing, will I be able to pee again when I get home, grab a Gatorade, chug it, do an awkward walk/jog to the car, get home, try to pee, try harder, squeeze a little out, lay the test on the counter, initiate staring and panic.

10 seconds... 20 seconds... 30 seconds... there it is again. I KNEW I should've been staring these things down sooner. That's all it took to squeeze those two lines out was a nasty look. Ha! Take THAT you stupid stick, I win!...I win... I'm pregnant?... initiate panic.

Joel's still sleeping (along with the rest of the world), and I'm standing by the bed trying to telepathically wake him. I can't speak. I sit down on the bed and stare at him awkwardly. He opens one eye and says good morning, then goes into a rant about the dogs and how much space they take up in the bed...there's a long pause... his back is to me now and I'm sure he's drifting back to sleep... I say quietly, "There's about to be a whole lot less room in this bed". He rolls back toward me, his eyes are huge, my eyes are huge... more silence... "We're going to have a baby", I say. Initiate panic.